Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
