margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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