My hand turned me down
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
