i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My bed smells like the plague
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
