I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
