i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
