i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude i'm inner monologue high
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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