I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Randomize
