So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
