Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
