i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
