How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
