i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
