you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
well you can't waste a boner
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
