I got chris browned last night
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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