My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
