i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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