he thought i was a dude.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
