kristin has been a bad kristin
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
