Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
