a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
