The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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