So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
