Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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