The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
