Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
