wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
