Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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