Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
