you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
