Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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