Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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