i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
