Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
