hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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