If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
