Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Found the puke drawer
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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