with your own penis?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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