people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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