Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
why is half of my head shaved?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
