the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
