Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dicks are not precious.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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