I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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