I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
