I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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