Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
