she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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