just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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