jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
