Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
