where am i from again
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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