yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
