I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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