You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
