I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
