Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
